Summer is a great time to care for yourself. Schedules and routines slow down, kids are occupied, and you have time to explore new places. I recently took time out to attend a professional training seminar in Cape Cod, and enjoyed some much needed chill time. I had never been there, so I was excited to go. My training was on “Acceptance and Commitment therapy”, also known as ACT. I was expecting to learn the basics of this treatment and how to use it with clients. What I wasn’t expecting was how the seminar was basically structured to emphasize the idea of self-care. This was the fundamental core of the training, teaching me how to explore what my values are and how to take small steps to get there. I learned, that despite all the voices in our heads telling us why we can’t, or why we should or shouldn’t achieve; there is a solution to all of this. Understanding what your needs are, is a crucial concept.We can be so busy taking care of others; we sometimes forget that we have needs too. I loved the example of the instructor asking a woman how often she cares for herself. She said she can only attend to her needs some of the time. The woman had children, so he asked her what if she only took care of them some of the time? That put it in perspective. When you love someone (or yourself), you take care of them all the time, with pleasure.The underlying problem is that we often don’t feel we are worthy. This belief stems from our childhood when we didn’t get enough attention or validation from our parents, teachers or others. In our minds, we make up stories about ourselves to protect us when we imagined that we are different from the other kids. Can you remember when that happened? Bingo. That was the seed of our unworthiness. Clients tell me all the time that they don’t feel they are good enough. Although they don’t say that directly, there is a lot of negative self-talk. They think that they are not good enough as parents, friends, or they are not thin enough. Then the ideas of what they think they should be doing comes out, “I should be working, I should be a better mom, I should be able to stick to a diet plan.” This can lead to depression, anxiety, and poor self-esteem. There is nothing wrong with you, or what you have done, and you are not broken. Vulnerability is not a disease. You are good enough! You are not a math problem that needs to be solved, but more like a sunset, to be noticed and appreciated.
Small things you can do for yourself right now!
What if you:
Loved yourself like you love your kids?
Valued yourself enough, so you would get adequate sleep, exercise and eat nutrient dense foods?
Limited watching fear based media constantly?
Unfollowed friends on social media that make you feel like your life sucks?
Occasionally took that yoga class or practiced meditation?
Allowed yourself to feel shitty sometimes, and stopped running, hiding and fighting?
Stopped paying so much attention to everything you are thinking?
Were open to your daily experiences and start to notice them without judgment?
What if you gave yourself a second chance?
I know that I am certainly going to try.
For more on my Cape Cod trip, see my article @The Points Mom. Follow the page to get information on how to travel free on points! nnnn
